Just over 5 years ago I met April...and I fell for her instantly...she had something i couldn't resist...I was 29yrs old, bouncing from girl to girl trying to make bad relationships work...i had no idea what being in love meant, i have never met someone like her, April was tough and street smart, she never went to college, and she played dumb at times, but she always knew how to get what she wanted...I fell in love with her hard...but at the time I viewed relationships as "just for now" i wasnt looking to get married or have a serious relationship...and i had just broken up with Oakland...so when she told me she wasnt looking for a realtionship either i was ok with that...i just wanted to hang out and see where things went with no expectations...except i was crazy about her...i didnt know why but my heart was full of passion and my soul longed for her greatly. She was 23 at the time, I just helped her move to SF, a great new city for her, and she was focused on taking care of herself...and i sudenly wanted more...so she pushed me away and was a selfish girl, and on my 30th birthday i realized she didnt, couldnt, and wouldnt love me like i did her...and i was hurt and pissed and acted like a child...that was the last time i saw her...she no longer lives in the city...she is 28 years old now...i write about her because Sweden reminds me of her...they have those same qualities that i fall for instantly...and now i wonder what April is like, what she is up to...five years seems long but at the same time it feels just like yesterday...
So what have I been doing all these years here in SF...
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