All sorts of candy fun....

Did you get my memo....

Ten more minutes on this buss to write a post....this buss is always filled with tourists and college kids....the kids are very annoying....such a waste of time on this buss....today is a day i wish i can fast forward through....i would rather get to the fun days....but work has to get done....i have to do something....it wont be easy....but it has to happen...i will....
I ran out of time and words...

put the one to the left in the front....

Yah i like this schedule...split days off...work my ass off for two days, hang out with friends, recover for a day, back to work for two days, and repeat....keeps my energy up...working 14hr shifts 6 days straight sucks...that what starts sat...as for now i have an after party to get to and a day off tomorrow to enjoy....

O and btw...youth is hard...i would never want to be 20 something again...i dont have it all figured out but thank Shit i know better than that....i still act dumb when it comes to love, but not nearly as dumb as that...i have learned...
I love you all...and i am always here for you...patient, accepting, caring....

I could do better....

I like this idea for today....the idea that i have tomorrow off...my days off are broken up this week...right now it feels good....this girl was in the restaurant today...she had beautiful eyes i couldnt help but keep looking....i rarely find people that attractive....later on another girl came in who had that sexual fire you cant ignore...years ago i would have taken her home....
Cool this guy just got ob the train that has alepecia...i think thats what its called...he has no hair
Things are getting crazy....the matrix is shrinking....i have met u already....so why dont we know each other...

What do I want you to read about now....

So i am becoming more and more detached from my place in castro these days...one of my bigest regrets in life is not moving out if sacramento sooner....and now that mistake has taken 8 years of my life....but i will not do that again...i spend little time in my home...and that is great....i love this city....it has so much to do and see....and i am having fun working on that list of shit i always wabted to do here....but the more i do, the more people i meet...the more i know i have to leave....

Today is a great day for a mani pedi....wonder if i can find time to get one done....so much to do today....so much i wish i could have shared with you....so sad....but whatever....
I believe in god...i believe that there are things i will never understand....i know my life has not been wasted....my time has been spent sharing and being there for others...i am happy to be a step in your life....the best thing i do is open doors for people...to support those in need and to guide those that are lost....i dont have your answers...but i can help you find them in you....
There is no predetermined fate or destiny or kharma....none that i can understand....but i try to be a good person, honest, trustworthy, fair and kind, accepting of others and myself, responsible, sharing and giving, patient, humble, and to be content but not complacent.
That last part is hard....i want so much....i have tried an tried and failed....and i dont know how to make some things happen....and i let it get to me...bring me down...

Just be myself.....i guess...something  always happens...ultimately i will die...and so will you and all this shit will no longer matter....the world will keep going without us...that is a happy thing.

And now this.....

Oh hell yah it is.my friday....just finished six days of shity work and now it is time to have fun...i must say vacation rocks....keeps the body going....and now i am about to go see my friends and have a great time....

Leonel told me to...

It is fucking wed....i have lots to say...so much has happened and yet not really into putting it here....so whatever.

Guess who still is me....

Fuck yah it is nice to have caught up on my sleep.....people ask what i did with my time off and i say sleep...cuz i really did a lot of that....and i needed it because of days like this....five hours sleep and back to work...but i feel good....
It is fucking cold this last couple days....the wind has picked up....but i have finely found my jacket....so fucking happy....years of searching and being disappointed and....omg
This bitch of a lady keeps shushing her daughter on the buss....she is talking to her in a whisper and her daughter responded in a quite voice and she shushed her....she keeps doing it....the mother is talking just as loud...so fucking rude...ugly bitch is probably ashamed of her self and is passing that shame to her daughter....fucked up....

I had you once....

Just woke up from a nap...I had a bad dream...I hate how they make me feel...it has been good to get away...to leave everything and just get some sleep...but now I am already ready to go home...but not really home...in my dream i was being attacked by a ghost...and then i thought to myself i could just call my girlfriend and and talking to her would make me feel better, then I realized i dont have one...and the person I wanted to call actually destroyed my heart in real life...five years ago and still I hurt...and why do so many people need to be called Anna here, this was to be my swan song...I was talking to a coworker the other night after work and she asked me about my love life...i found that I couldnt talk about it...it was too difficult, to remember how many times I gave my heart away, to have it crushed...I generally just try to forget about love, and have been good at it for a few days....but this nightmare has awoken my heartache....so I have to write about it and get rid of it here....here is where my sadness and pain lives...if you want to know about it here is where you can find it...so that when you see me, unless you read this, I am fine...

Cheap Paris Apartment- perfect spot - sofa bed?.....or

Paris Apartment Studio Le Marais rue Sainte Croix de la Bretonnerie

or maby this one...tight bed though...

Paris Apartment Studio Le Marais rue des Rosiers

This one has a bidet!

Paris Apartment Studio Le Marais rue Sainte Croix de la Bretonnerie

Getting better here...

Paris Apartment Alcove Studio Le Marais rue du Bourg Tibourg

They are all looking good now...

Paris Apartment Studio Le Marais rue de la Verrerie

I like the pink....

Paris Apartment 1 Bedroom Le Marais rue des Archives

This one looks nice...

Paris Apartment Studio Le Marais rue Sainte Croix de la Bretonnerie

OMG this one looks great...

Paris Apartment 1 Bedroom Le Marais rue du Temple

Maybe this one...

Paris Apartment 1 Bedroom Le Marais rue Vieille du Temple

This is IT!! should I take it? or...

Paris Apartment 1 Bedroom Le Marais rue des Archives

maybe here? I dont really need such a nice place...

Paris Apartment Studio Le Marais rue Sainte Croix de la Bretonnerie

U will never know...

Think of yourself as a piece of chocolate or candy i cant have...anyplace u dont want to be bothered...and there i am....bothering you like a piece of love u
cant have...all over you and rejected....imagine that slice of chocolate turning you away...that is my life...

If only you knew...

Someone has to take a fucking picture of this....so i can better explain how this feeling is ..cuz you will never known....

So much to learn....

Ok so the first thing i did when i got home from work to start my vacation was sleep....then out after that nap...then yesterday i slept in, went out to eat, then back home to sleep....fuck i was tired....so fucking sleep deprived...and today i woke up feeling normal finely....this constant 6 hours of sleep every night sucks....
I think now today starts my vacation....
You know it is funny....there is this guy in the corner that has blue in his dark hair...i used to color my hair a lot...i still think about doing it agiain but since i am balding it thins out my hair and makes me look more bald so i dont...but still i think about it...and this guy is about my age but has a full head of hair and looking at him i think about what kind of girl would find that attractive....when i was younger it was a good thing....but now that i want to atract a woman not a girl...maybe not so much....
But then i was thinking girls always say they want someone smart and funny, but then swoon over the hot dumb guy and laugh at everything he says....soooo

When it comes down to it...i might still color my hair cuz i want to and i think it looks good...besides the woman i want would like it too, or if she doesnt she at least accepts that part of me....because she would swoon over me and laugh at everything i say...

Beauty is all prospective....love blindes...that i know i live...just look at my exes...i am not very attracted to any of them anymore...not to say they are unattractive...they just dont do it for me....some of them i wonder what i was thinking...but it is because i fall in love with who a person is...then i find them beautiful...

I love food...and wine....and pink champagne....and dessert...

So as I think about leaving this city I also think about all the things I havn't done that I keep putting off here, like the list of restaurants I wan to try. The French laundry being number one. then about a dozen others like Benu, Saison and then there is Coi, which I was going to take Anna to, man I wish we went...but not all the restaurants i want to go to are fine dinning, there is also Mission Chinese, which I might go to tonight, it is Saturday but it is also the slow season,so hopefully it wont be too packed...another new place Sons & daughters I have heard good things about and The Boxing Room...oh and boulevard, Flour & Water, Waterbar, and Frances which just opened down the street from my house...Fuck there are a lot of places I want to try...If only I had a partner to go with...I once got into a relationship just so I would have someone to eat sushi with...I am about at that point again...my friends seem to be short on cash all the time...I should probably start on my Paris list of restaurants...I fucking cant wait...

How much can i mention time....

Ahhh....i am cold....46° right now.....at least it isnt windy....anna be happy you missed july it is fucking cold and windy around that time ....enough weather talk....i am so looking forward to my vacation time....only one more day to go....work has settled down finally...only 200 covers today...somtimes i wonder if all the effort i do matters...my labor is down my costs r down my sales are up my cust satisfaction is high, but does any of that get noticed by the owners or does it get lost in the big picture...i could see unless you take the time to isolate the time i am running the show from the time everyone else is you wouldn't notice a difference....and to do that takes effort and time, two things ownership doesnt put in.....

Whateves....truth is i just want to see for myself, how much a difference is it really....i am getting to know the place better and able to do more everyday.....but does it matter...i could do less, but that's just not me...time to get a drink....off early enough to catch last call, if i make it in time...

Time is a bullshit measure made up by some guy....

Did you know there used to be ten months in the calendar....there are more than 24 hours in a real day....time is a totally irrelevant and unreal man made obsession...as all things man made, time is imperfect.....it is so bad that every four years we have to add a day....that meens each year is 6 hours wrong....what if instead of adding a day at the end of every year we have "no time" the clock hits midnight and for six hours it doesnt move....

If you die you die at "no time" or you were born at "no time" 2012....and during this moment people calibrate life and each other, if legal shit happens it is just accepted no time is what it is...and you make it work....

It is a moment to reflect and appreciate those around you...businesses close by law, no one is allowed to work except emergency personnel....the world around you stops....

Time has to exhist....but why is it so meaningful....what makes 2am so special...or 6am...
If you add a minute to every last hour of every day...you would have a year that is only 5 minutes wrong...but then it would be sunset at noon....which if you just take away the meaning of time and use it just as a tool than sunset at noon is just as acceptable as daylight savings...

Part....ummm four i guess...doesnt matter anymore...moving on...

I though there was more to say ol'girl...but as it turns out that's all you get...i gots to get back to work in 6 hours....i need to sleep...toodle-oo.

part three...or some nothing for you...

another new years party done and over with...i kicked its ass, and everyone went home happy...and drunk....

now if i can just get some sleep...got to get back to it in a few hours...