Good morning...I remember two things about my dreams last night...I dreamt about smoking last night it was very nice...i also dreamt i had a girlfriend and she was great...but had a big head...i dreamt i put on her shirt cuz i was cold...that was weird...
there was this point i wanted to make....it was a feeling, i feel so stupid for believing her words...when she told me she loved me for who I am...i shouldn't have believed her...my gut told me not to...it was so hard for me to trust in love again...but i did, and now I regret that...I know if she and i lived in the same town things would be different...but we dont...i will never meet anyone like her again....and as i struggle everyday to not think about falling in love again, to ignore the fundamental part of me that drove me to get out of bed every morning, to hear someone say those words she told me and for those words to be true, my heart keeps wanting love....someone to love my nail polish, to love my night owl, to love my caring, to love my everything and especially since you dont agree with my everything...to not understand why i do or dont do things but to be there for me anyway...i dont want to change who I am i want to meet someone who loves me for who I am...but every girl i meet doesnt want who I am...so i either have to change, to be more of a mans man...or accept the fact that i will die single, alone, and without fulfilling the one thing i ever really wanted to do....if only those words were true....
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