just to be clear...always misunderstood...

So I was going to delete this whole “blog” is you can even call it that…the last year its been my outlet for my heartache…and now as I move on past that part of my life I was thinking I should just wipe it all clean…I mean those ideas I laid down are no longer me or how I feel….but as I reread some of it and knowing that parts are particular to events in my life that are no longer current…those ideas are still me…this blog despite being written when I was depressed is still how i feel and am….the only difference now is that I don’t have that great need to express those feelings out into the world….so I am leaving them up, with this disclaimer…the posts for the past year or so are slightly personal , self involved ,and single minded, I have no idea the impression they leave, but they are ME, one part of me but one I will not hide….hopefully the future posts I can express those other parts…but then again the post before this says more of the same and I doubt things will change….

i need a new drug....

Well here is a new one….absolutely nothing has changed but everything is different….this blog is old and tired….i want to start all over but am to bogged down with tones of shit I need to do…to take this thing as it is…a look into my expressions of love….you see when I write and post things here its cuz I find nowhere else to release the overflow inside me…and the hardest thing to find a safe place to let go of is love….so it ends up here….there is more to me…there is more in my life….but I tell my friends about those things…besides, for some reason I find talking about my life goings on in a blog to be way to personal….but expressing my desire for love and my heartaches and such…well that’s all out in the open here…because here no one looks…well at least no one tells me they look….and its like, I get to release it then it gets to be gone and I get to move on….so since no one is listening anymore….