Just another ramble......none of you will get.. ..

I don't often get surprised by how someone acts....I generally am good at judging character, good at guessing how a person will respond, I think that its why I love people I don't understand...they are so interesting, I always want to find out what made them so different....
I usually don't get surprised by most people though....sometimes my lack of faith in the human spirit gets the better of me and I expect a cold shoulder or an empty gesture and get surprised by a wide open welcome.....I like that kind of surprise....I would have more faith in people if I found more that are kind....my friends are kind....they often surprise me....my many birthday wishes and notes since I've been away have warmed my heart....those are good people.....
I am thinking when I get back to the states I am going to visit many of them....couch surf tour around the states....well the coasts, i dont know anyone who would live in middle America...
Anyway, I might be a very cynical person,but I always have hope.....I probably seem more negative on this blog than I feel I really am...sometimes I read back and wonder if I was too harsh....but I try not to go back an edit too much...more times then not I am too loving I think....
I rarely hate anyone.....I try to be genuine and kind, I am a forgiving person and patient....these things I think are very true.. .but there are plenty of people I would rather not be around....and for the most part they don't want me around, so it works out.....
I wonder which comes first, me not wanting them around our they not wanting me around....maybe it is cuz they act coldly I chose to not like them... there have been times though I have been mean to someone I shouldn't have...
And in all this.....I wonder.... are you nice....did I misjudge you or misunderstand you....I definitely am confused...
I have hope.....I hope for an open mind and a kind heart....I hope for bravery to overcome fear....for individualism to win out over conformity....for honest  communication....today.
But I guess there is time.....a couple more days I suppose....