OK so there are the obvious things i am attracted to in a woman, someone who thinks independently above social influence, someone smart, driven, competitive, goes for what she wants, is self confident, and has high standards...And fun, ready to go or do or try anything, and someone empathetic, who truly cares and listens and will draw out what i am feeling from me...someone i could spend hours talking with...someone with lots of energy but also likes to stay in bed...someone who is giving, i love presents....someone who smells good....and someone that can make me laugh, I may be stoic but I love a funny girl...you know the obvious shit....and then there's the details, like someone who walks at my pace, who likes the same kind of things as i do like music, food, activities and so forth...someone who enjoys sex and flowing water and putting those two together...and so much more....truth is when i think about this stuff I keep thinking the same thing...I fucked up something really good...i miss her eyes when she looked lovingly at me...i miss how she wanted to help me...i miss her sexy walk...i miss her goofy faces....i miss cuddling with her...i miss watching movies with her...i miss her club...i miss playing stupid games with her...i miss how she pulled my chair out and sat on my lap after breakfast...i miss our long showers...i miss the way her skin felt as my hands wondered...i miss how she played with her hair...i miss hearing about her day...i miss knowing she would be there for me at the end of my day...i miss candy shopping with her...i miss her honesty...i miss her lips....i miss her dumb jokes...i miss her reading to me as i fall asleep...i miss telling her stories...i miss her everything.
and so i am deciding that for the next few months i am not dating anyone, i am not thinking about love, i am not available or interested...this will be hard because i so very want Love right now...but seeing that all I want is her....and I cant have her...i have to forget about Love....so then I can forget about her...lets hope i can do it...cause this sucks.
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