Idol hands blah blah blah...

I wish I had more time – fact is I have more time than anyone I know – I just waste it all away --- I wish I knew what I did with my time – reading random blogs and singing songs in my head --- I heard that Prince locks himself in his studio for months when he’s writing music – he secludes himself from the outside world and just works on putting sounds together in a beautiful way --- I wish I could do that –

So I met a very attractive girl at the bar the other night – the first time I met her she was soo drunk she laid her head in my lap to pass out – I thought it was very cute -- I saw her again the next week Sunday night – made a plan to see her at Mecca Thursday when I worked – Tuesday night I get back from Sac completely frustrated with the dumb drivers and slow moving people in that town and I couldn’t get out sooner – so I head straight to the BOC to unwind and relax –

I walk in and there she is with her friends – I quickly walk pass them and try to pretend I didn’t see them – OK this is when I usually get abstract about my feelings and thoughts cuz it’s just to hard to explain any other way –but I’ll try – If I could I’d draw a picture of frustration anxiety and joy all together bathing in vodka and cran –

now I’m sitting there thinking what should I do, should I talk to her, what should I say, what if she sees me I have to talk to her…blah blah blah blah And OHH FUCK I forgot my smokes SHIT – so I set down my drink and run upstairs get my smokes brush my teeth and get prettied up – shit I’m not supposed to be dealing with on my night off relaxing at my bar --- so I head back down and there she is in the patio and I wave hello and smoke --- the whole night I’m trying to avoid her but I still want to talk to her sorta but I just wasn’t in the mood to flirt –

So too many vodka’s later I notice she’s about to leave so I go stand by the coat check to catch her on the way out – nervous anxiety rushes me and I fucking hate it – I grab her as she’s walking out and play the game a bit she remembered Thursday at Mecca and said goodbye – That was the worst fucking night at BOC I ever had ---

She flaked on me Thursday night – probably better that way – She’s a cute girl but that might be all she has going for her --- besides it’s a week later and I already moved on to someone hotter and a lot more fun -- the cards told me the future holds a surprise for me as I look at the world in the palm of my hand with wonder and enchantment there is trouble, fear, and emotions awaiting --- hmmm