So here it is…there are several threads I am drowning in…there is this whole thing about, “it will be ok” bullshit…I lost all my faith in that…I don’t care about destiny, “meant to be”, fate, karma….there are no guaranties in life…just because you are a good person doesn’t mean good shit will happen to you…fact is nothing is connected….i have no faith in the butterfly affect…a tree goes down in who cares where has no affect on my life….the things that are happening to me now have no baring on the things that will happen to me tomorrow…sure if that one thing didn’t happen I wouldn’t have known another….but none of that has any affect on what happens tomorrow…fact is the amount of pain one endures does not equal the amount of joy received…there is heat break and love everywhere…I just don’t believe everything happened to you for a reason…but that doesn’t change that those things happened…they are a part of you and what make you who you are….but tomorrow you can do anything you want despite those things if you make it happen…is it all about the whole adage…live life while you can to the fullest because this is the only one you got so live for today and plan for tomorrow, type bullshit…its stupid because fact is you cant count on anything…but you can do what you like to do you can try to be happy and get the things you want...if you want something but don’t ask for it you wont get it, if you don’t do something to get it, it wont just come to you…as long as what you want doesn’t involve what others want…unfortunately everything involves the wants and desires of another person and you cant control what other people want, its unpredictable and unreliable…so you cant get something by just wanting it…and sometimes you might do everything right to get it and still it wont happen for you, life is not fair and sometimes makes no fucking sense…so instead of being so upset over disappointing people and situations…I am going to concentrate on myself…the one thing I can control…to put myself in the right shape to be ready for the unpredictable…
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