blogging a lot these days

So I don’t remember writing my last two blogs…I am drunk and probably wont remember writing this one…So I know my exes read my blog….and so I censor the things I put up here cuz I don’t want them to think just cuz I miss love means I miss them….but they know more than anybody what we had is over….but the thing is that we have affected each other in deep ways…and I love that…you cant grow without suffering…and we all did in our own way…part to me and part to you part to someone else…but not all…i met this girl who is exactly like one of my exes and it trips me out…I look at her and I feel like I know now that I am in such a different place then I was when I was love lost for her…I am glad to make that new friendship it feels good….i am still in contact with some of my exes and I still love them all…I want so much for them to find themselves to live their lives and do well…but its always hard for me to let go…I feel like a farther that wont let his little girl grow up…its sad but true…and so I have this ex that is completely lost and I keep going back trying to give her anything I can do to help her accomplish what i know she wants to do but cant find the way and at the same time I am trying not to lead her on…and I have my friends telling me its not my responsibility to help her, and she doesn’t want my help…the point is that I put up in my blogs the loss of love I feel the passion of life I have and the want for me from what I had…and I do this cuz I know you all feel the same fucking way at one point in your life…you all have broken a heart here and there…it sucks but it has to be done sometimes…and there it is heartbreak and guilt…but I don’t hide it cuz it might make someone feel bad…I take ownership for my actions…here it is and I am no longer holding back…yes I hurt you yes you hurt me…truth is I fucked over my ex I used her I played her and the I did it again…and I feel bad about it…and I am always trying to make good on my fuck up…but I don’t blame her for not talking to me…I miss her…but if I see her again and look into her eyes all I would want to do is kiss her…even though its not from the heart…because my heart is not connected to her anymore…it is affected by her and grown because of her but it is no longer hers to have…being in love with someone who is not IN love with you sucks…its happened to me a few times…I’ve done it…it most likely happened to you…but the possibility for mutual love is real…its not guaranteed but it not impossible either…I own this blog…it is about Bridget…it is about Lynn…it is about Kelly…it is about April…it is about Tracy…its about Luci..its about Chey..it about George...its about Jessie...its about Mitch...ts about Josh...its about EV...its about Eric, Maria. Jason, Dave...its about all those fuckers who tell me there heartbreak stories and thier quest for finding love...i take from you all and write it...and its all about myself…same as all the rest…but you already know i dont play...RIGHT