Stupid insomnia

I have found that I like dark stories…my favorite kind of movies are dark….i hate Hollywood endings…I understand why they exist but I hate it….like the end of closer where Alice doesn’t die…it ruins the whole movie or the end of stranger then fiction…i just don’t like it…life doesn’t work out all the time….everyone wants to think people get what they deserve….there is no fact to that…sure there is nothing attractive about the way I feel these days…but I don’t care…its nearly five in the morning…what do I care about anything at this time…my mind feels like a slice of warm pie without the ice cream…I went out the other night with the exact intent to find a quite place to smoke a pack of cigarettes and drink enough beer to be able to pass out later…that’s all I wanted to do…unfortunately some old dude was intent on sucking my dick and would not leave me alone…so I let him buy me some drinks as he told me of how he just got dropped from an 8 year relationship and hasn’t had the desire for sex in years…and as he told me all I could think was how little I cared but at least I didn’t have to think about the homophobic short out of shape womanizer my replacement is...but I have to laugh cuz she is already flirting with someone else behind his back…its always greener on the other side I guess…but none of that has anything to do with me anymore...and just then he asks me if I thought the bartender was wearing a toupee…I sad no way it just looks weird...who wears those…apparently the bartender does and the old dude went on about how unattractive the fat hairy beast is…I felt better….sure we were two heart broken sad single dumped schmucks but at least we weren’t prancing around in a hair piece or looked like a fatter hairy Britney Spears on a binge with absolutely nothing remotely attractive about us, as he put it….so I let him buy me one last shot before going my own way…to end up at another bar feeling good enough to shoot a smile to the mission chic in her tight jeans dark hair and faded brand new guns and roses shirt…of coarse all I got back was a cold wince…I forget I don’t have the right uniform for the role of love interest in her life…tattoos, deconstructed professionally styled hair, spacers in my ears, and dingy looking dark clothes…I hate uniforms…so with my soul back in check its last call…my pack nearly empty and my body saturated with enough booze to pass out I go home…so I didn’t get exactly what I wanted out of the night but things ended up fine just the same…hmmm is that a happy ending…whatever