been smok'n too long...

I changed my songs....I know my posts are sometimes just rants and rambles and nonsense...I thought awhile ago I'd write stories and cute little antidotes...but that's just not me...I realize some see my life and wonder how I live it...how can I waste so much time...how do I not take anything seriously or seem not to care...the truth is part of me doesn't care...I am not depressed or lazy...I am just waiting...waiting for a reason to give a shit...there are those who have their goals and inspirations...truly I may be just waiting for it all to end...this circle of doing the same shit over again seems so tired and done to me....change of scenery doesn't seem to change the types of people I meet...and I've met all the types...and I cant find one that not only is happy to be in my light but is also happy to see me shine...I guess I am one of those people that has a dark cloud fallowing them everywhere...so maybe I do have some low level constant depression going...but I don't see how that changes anything...I am waiting for someone who knows how to bring out my passion...cuz now I just don't feel like anyone is worth showing my tricks to...