So I was thinking about one day in Sweden that says a lot about her and I…it was a rainy day…we laid in bed as long as possible before she had to go…she had an interview that afternoon…we walked to a common spot then parted to meet back at the house 3 hours later…I had a plan to do a chore then explore a bit on my own…I went to the grocery store and bought an umbrella then walked around…I thought about how it would be if she got a job there, how my life would be living in such a small town…she hadn’t shown me much of it, she is not a very good tour guide…I started to get very hungry as I was walking around…I tried to time my walk to get back to the house just at 3 hrs…but I think I took a wrong turn and I was a little late, and getting very hungry and irritable and lacking blood sugar…
She was home when I got there…I was wet and nauseous and tired and starving…I asked her if she was hungry so we could go eat…but she said she already ate…I was surprised by this and hurt…see for me food is very important, it is a courteous thing to think of those in your home when you eat…if you know they might be hungry you should bring food home with you if you are getting some, or wait to eat with them…it’s a lesson my dad drilled into when I was young…always share your food…I was hurt she didn’t want to have lunch with me and that I was starving and there was no food…I was on a one track mind for food and she was on one of her own…so sensing the delicate moment I decided to take a shower to release my emotions…I cried a bit and thought that maybe she wasn’t all I thought she was, not considerate and caring…I composed myself and waited for her to finish some chore she had to do…we weren’t connecting…
We then left to finish our tasks for the day, eat then shop…I was starving and my brain was not functioning well, I leaned on her for support and I was tough about it…but I tried not to be mean but sometimes when I am hungry and irritable it cant be helped…I finally ate, then we go shopping a bit, she takes me to a store she had picked out for me…but I find nothing I love…
After we leave that store and stand waiting for a cross walk my brain starts to function properly again, and I think about how wonderfully she took care of me, she found me the perfect spot to go and the perfect meal, she led me in, let me sit and took care of everything…it was something I was very happy to try…then I felt bad because she had hoped I would like the store she scoped out for me, and I did I would go there again, I just am a picky shopper, but I still felt like it didn’t go how she imagined…and I thought to myself how amazing is this girl who is standing next to me, how lucky am I to have someone really love me…and I turned to her looked into her beautiful face and kissed her…
I was upset about the food thing, but I shouldn’t have been, she just doesn’t think about it like I do…and maybe if I had a phone we could have talked after her interview and met and ate together properly and i could have been there for her and focus on what she needed, or at least I would have known to go find food myself…and my state of being took away from what she was going through with the interview…she was hurt too…it was a tough day for us…
But in the end we got the things we needed, went back home, and I prepared a decent meal and we had a great night together with her friends…and I fell madly more in love with her…and she had another reason to say maybe I am not right for her…
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