Things to do today: - Write blog - check!

So It’s 5:30am and yet again I cant fall asleep – the reasons for this are plenty and none of which I care for or have the energy to change – I just want some quick fix meds – life would be great if all your problems could be fixed by taking a couple pills – instead I’ve been able to use this time to watch a couple seasons of Six Feet Under – You know sometimes I feel like my life is a ball of yarn and there I am holding the end of the string as I watch the ball drop from my hand – and I know I should bend down and pick it up but I just don’t feel the want to do so – and so I watch that ball of yarn roll away and I think to myself – “now that’s not good” – but I do nothing about it as it rolls further away unraveling as it goes – as the ball unravels moments pass to take action yet I just watch – holding on to the thread standing there doing nothing as if nothing is happening – I know what I should be doing - I know what I would tell someone to do in this situation – but I cant seem to care enough about it myself - “bye bye ball of yarn, its gonna suck trying to put you back together – ohh…now your getting all tangled…hmm, that sucks…(yawn) anyway” As I stare at it getting worse – oh yes this is my life – the list of shit I am ignoring is getting to be a mile long and the hole I’m digging for myself never seems to end – Sometime I’ll wake up from my stupor and get my shit together - I just wish I could take a couple pills and have it all done for me - rather than actually live my life.