Sometimes i hate that this place isn't completely private, or I can block who reads it....i really have no idea who reads this...most often it's exes....i dont know what they r looking for....for me to say "they are the greatest thing that ever happened to me and they will always have me and the time they were in my life was the best days of my life"....sorry but that isnt true, for all of you....fact is all you are is a learning lesson....dont do that again....I feel indifferent towards them really...the love was real and I am fond of my exes, but if we met again,there would be nothing...
Maybe they are looking to verify they didnt make a mistake and be sure of their decision to move on...and in that i am sure i keep them satisfied....or they want to see how I am, but dont't have the balls to just ask...
But here is where I want to say how much my heart hurts....i cant say that though....i don't want anyone jumping to conclusions....
Here is where i want to say I wish it worked out....but the truth is that would take them being a different person, because it didnt work out for a reason...what i really wish that happened, my first love traci back when I was 18....I wish you were also my last love, the one that went forever....how crazy would that have changed my life....everything would be different, but most importantly I would never know what losing love felt like...It is better to have loved and lost, sure, but it's even better to have loved and never lost...
my heart hurts...i feel defeated, hopeless, and alone...
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