If this were a game I would hit reset and try to start over...

It is funny how Matrix like life is...in a city of 2 million an area of 5 million people, it is still often that you meet people you have some sort of connection with u already ...and why do so many people look alike, at my work there is a girl who looks like one of my exes, and I cant help but think about her every time I see her, and last night i met a woman that looked just like one of my other exes, the amazing thing is how different each girl made me feel, one I feel confused when I am reminded of her, the other I feel nothing, the fact is I cant figure out why the past keeps haunting me, why do i bump into people and things that connect to painful memories for me, why is my memory so sad..

I am excited about leaving this town, excited about trying something different, I wish I had more time, time is running out, and each day that goes by without love is wasted...

I regret a lot of my choices I made in my life...i wasted away so much...

there is no plan, where you are, who you are, when we meet...it is not written....

windmills, skull tasting drinks, red vines, walking anywhere with anyone other than you...everyday...i am reminded...I dont understand why...why the moment I was ready and able is the some moment things changed...things make perfect sense but at the same time completely suck... I can see my own reasons...but why the haunting...why the persistence into my life...

We must be meant for something else, but there must be a reason you dont leave my thoughts...I could never understand what drew us together in the first place, it was all wrong in so many ways...yet i could not resist...what is the reason for that...but then I see it happen over and over....perfect again...as we were, as you had me fooled...as I was told when I was 18, and over and over again...Love is a liar...

and the moment you believe in Love..it rips your heart out and smashes it into the ground...

where is this post going, where did it begin, what is it about...fuck if I know...a little of this and that all put together for no reason...

Maybe I should have just walked my drunk ass home...where would I be now if that happened...where would you be?