the best worst ever

i have to remember this feeling...i have to remember how much my heart yearns, how much it hurts, i have to not forget exactly what love means to me...what i am driven by...why i love...and the sole purpose i will never be satisfied....i feel like ponce de leon in search of the fountain of youth, or cortez in a never ending quest for the city of gold...i am a conquistador and my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is true real love....does it not exist either...