Introduction to nothing

Sure I have hope - Most may think I am a pessimist - just a realest though- and yet with a very healthy case of denial - hence the hope - every now and then I wonder if the next ten years of my life will be like the last ten - nothing has really changed about me - a bit wiser and slower - whatever - sure I have grown and am better at avoiding mistakes - yet my life itself seems very similar - is the next ten years gonna be filled with dead relationships and boring jobs - am I gonna keep wondering what am I gonna do with my life - am I going to turn forty look back and think " what a fucking waste" - I try to do new things I try to go out and see worldly events - like today was Bastille day- its sorta like the 4th of July for France - here in SF there is a French quarter - which everyone who I talked to knew nothing about - its basically to alleys downtown lined with restaurants - and I'm talking about two narrow small alleys in a part of town no one really goes to - in years passed for Bastille day they would have a street party, they'd block off the streets and people would wonder around drink and smoke and celebrate - this year - the first year I attend - was a bust - the city raised the price on permits and no one would pay - I went down to check it out anyway - no party going on - it was just a bunch of group dates having dinner - the funny thing though around the corner an Irish bar got a permit for a street party to celebrate - I over heard a couple checking it out say "it doesn't look very Irish?"- they had no idea it was Bastille day - like most of the city - so instead I went home and watched transamerica with my roommates - now that was a fucked up movie definitely worth watching - Happy Bastille Day!!!