HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

My plan worked to perfection. I had, in my view, an acceptable birthday today. Last night as I turned 30 I had a shot with my roommate who was gracious enough to come down and have one with me despite not really wanting to go out. That was very kind of him. I expected to be drinking alone and his company was a nice gift. That was a good start for me. Then I spent the rest of the night just chill’n and enjoying the ambiance of Bar (That’s the name of the neighborhood bar I go to). I can enjoy my drink and relax and meet people stress free there – I’ll right another blog later on why I love going to Bar. Anyway I left the bar feeling good about myself cuz I had no regrets about any conversation I had or didn’t have and I also got hit on and that always makes you feel good. I went home didn’t feel the need to drunk dial anyone just grabbed my pillow and passed out on the futon on our back porch cuz it’s nice to sleep outside on these hot nights. In the morning I awoke feeling refreshed and with no regrets about the night before and spent the day watching crap TV and cleaning my guitar – no pressure from anyone to do anything cuz I had no plans. I got great messages from some of my friends wishing me a happy birthday and that was another cool added bonus. My roommate got me a cake and I found this great bracelet last night – my two birthday presents this year – again more than I expected. And now with 20 minutes left into it I’m going to lock myself in my room and hide so that nothing can ruin a nice stress free (almost) 24hrs.

BUT…

On Saturday the 22^nd _ I had a miserable night – I tried not to but I ended up having some expectations – I wanted to have fun see friends – maybe meet someone – get laid – whatever – all those expectations failed – I got stressed and angry and depressed and drunk dialed and it was all bad – I was alone in a bar crying - The whole night wasn’t bad – I did briefly see someone who I wish I could have talked more with but unfortunately the way the night was going that didn’t happen – and I did see some friends from Sac but they were trashed when I met up with them and that kinda sucked – So maybe except from one second on the stairs at The Café it all sucked. That’s why I don’t like to plan things for my birthday – I don’t want to be miserable –