A deep introspective look at myself.

I had some free time on my hands and I was in a state where I had to start over with myself – A friend of mine introduced me to this thing called Enneagram a couple days before and I dove right into it – It has helped me redefine myself and realize why I do things and why others do what they do – I have learned about virtues and what motivates them and character flaws as well – with this new found introspective look at life I think I have a new direction to help myself grow into a well rounded person and aspire to know how to use the virtues of all nine types when appropriate –

To get a better understanding of what I’m talking about here is an explanation from www.9types.com

What is the Enneagram? 1. Is it scientific? The Enneagram is one of the newest personality systems in use, and emphasizes psychological motivations.
Scientific testing of the Enneagram has a long way to go. The RHETI is a widely used test and has been subject to scientific tests that showed internal consistency, but not accuracy. Other tests may be more accurate (see comparison here). The Enneagram's underlying structure is based on testable ideas about motivations and emotions (see A Directional Theory of the Enneagram).

So here are the nine different personality types:

- THE REFOERMER, IDEALISTIC: Type One is principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionist.
- THE HELPER, GIVER: Type Two is demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing, and possessive.
- THE ACHIEVER, MOTIVATOR, PERFORMER: Type Three is adaptive, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.
- THE INDIVIDUALISTIC, ROMANTIC, ARTIST: Type Four is expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.
- THE THINKER, OBSERVER, INVESTIGATOR: Type Five is perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.
- THE LOYALIST, QUESTIONER, DEPENDENT: Type Six is engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.
- THE ENTHUSIAST, ADVENTURER, ACCOMPLISHED: Type Seven is spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered.
- THE CHALLENGER, ASSERTER, LEADER: Type Eight is self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.
- THE PEACEMAKER, REASSUREER, EASYGOING: Type Nine is receptive, reassuring, agreeable, and complacent.

For a better look check out http://www.enneagraminstitute.com

So anyway – I don’t agree with all the psychobabble of the websites – but I am going to delve deeper into it and find out more about myself to see what type I am –

One thing I learned doing this is that I am a different person depending on the situation – I think we all are – It’s common to here your partner say something like “why do you act different around your friends then you do with me” or you’d say “I feel like I have to act so much different at work it is so relaxing to come home and be something else” -

Now they say Twos are prone to changing their behavior to fit the needs of the situation so this might only be pertinent to me if I am a Two – I don’t know – I’d like to know if you feel different or the same about this point.

First I want to find out who I am generally speaking.

Step one: Take the tests – These tests only work if you answer honestly – not as what you’d like to be or want to be or think you are – Also I believe I am different depending on the situation or who I am with (like a lover) so to find out who I am in general I have to think about my basic instinct answer. Try to not think about current situations with people close to me where feelings might influence my answers – I got to try and answer honestly from what truly motivates me and what I do and how I feel.

(I took these tests once at a time when I was very angry at a Type Three person and all my Three scores came out very low – I took the test later when I had forgotten about her and realized I was biased and my three scores nearly doubled)

My Results:
The http://www.enneagraminstitute.com RHETI test tells me I am a Type 2 with a score of 8 fallowed by a score of 5 in types 4, 7, and 9. I don’t like this test though because it forces you to choose between t wo types in which you might not care either way. I don’t think it’s a good test even though it came out somewhat correct it still doesn’t show the whole picture.

The New test http://www.9types.com/newtest/homepage.actual.html gave me more options and might help me narrow down exactly which number I am.

T.1 (-5) T.2 (4) T.3 (-5) T.4 (6) T.5 (-4) T.6 (3) T.7 (5) T.8 (-7) T.9 (3)

So I’m a Four with a strong Seven and Two. According to both tests so far I definitely am not a One, Three, Five, or Eight, but I do have some undertones of Six and Nine.

It’s funny how low the Two scored on this test after scoring so high on the first test. I guess maybe I am not a Giver.

I think I need a couple more tests to find out for sure. Luckily http://similarminds.com/personality_tests.html has a shit load of tests I can take. And for an introspective Four that I am it’s a website from heaven.

Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||| 36%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||||| 72%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||| 43%
Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||| 40%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||| 21%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 69%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||| 28%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||| 59%


type score type behavior motivation
2 - 51 - I must be helpful and caring to be happy.
7 - 48 - I must be high and entertained to be happy.
4 - 44 - I must avoid painful feelings to be happy.
9 - 41 - I must be peaceful and easy to get along with to be happy.
3 - 30 - I must be impressive and attractive to be happy.
5 - 28 - I must be knowledgeable and independent to be happy.
1 - 25 - I must be perfect and good to be happy.
8 - 20 - I must be strong and in control to be happy.
6 - 15 - I must be secure and safe to be happy.

So there it is I am either a Two a Seven or a Four, definitely not a One Six or Eight.

Step Two: Find out what makes a Two, Seven, and a Four, and see which one is really me. That’s my next blogg…C-ya