I feel like a tool for the universe...as if my life is not in my control...i have no choice in where my life leads...in the end i find myself in the exact same place...no matter how hard i try to escape it...the truth keeps finding me...
i want to break free...i want to live a different life...why am i your mirror...why am i your crutch...why do i have to be the asshole, the pusher, the catalyst in your life...for you and for you and for you i live...but who lives for me...who will be there when i need them to be...when do i get what i want.....when do i get to use and be forgiven, without remorse...oh do i...do i really...
i am not without fault, not without greed, not without lust, jealousy, vanity....i am a man who desires to be so much....i live a life i truly am greatful to have....but i feel like i have all the water in the world and i am thirsty as a mother fucker, but i have no cup to drink that water out of...
i am going now...to see the freak show they call pink slip...alone amongst friends i will be...smoking to hide the pain....drinking to kill the time...waiting for the second act to begin in this play i call my life...i await behind the curtain, anticipating its drawing...wondering whos face will i see first...who will be the lead in the next chapter of my life...someone new, someone old, someone recent...maybe this is a lone chapter in my life...if it is i hope its a short chapter...
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