So I caught the finale of “America’s got Talent”...

So I caught the finale of “America’s got Talent” otherwise known as “Americas freak show” - for those of you that don’t fallow it – which is probably all of you – It’s a talent show contest – and in the finale ten acts vie for a million dollar prize – It is a horrible show – the judges are David Hasselhoff, Brandy, and the obligatory English dude – The format is kinda American Idol like – after the performance the “judges” critique the acts – The acts or horrendous but somehow “The Hoff” and Brandy love every single act – You can buy this from David – it’s not like he’s been in anything great, deep, or artistic in fact he is perfect for judging cheesy acts – but you would hope Brandy at least would notice the ear bleeding voices on the show – Yet she seems to be the most clueless - it makes you wonder about her ear – can she not hear? – anyway – the show is on before Project Runway and I couldn’t help but wonder how bad Nina would tear these contestants apart –

I can imagine it now….

With the Acts on the runway Heidi would call out names “At Last….Taylor Ware….Quick Change….Rappin' Granny …Bianca Ryan……and The Millers.” PAUSE “If I have called your names you represent the worst and the best. - The rest of you can leave the stage – we look forward to seeing you in half-time shows at your local basketball game.”

Then the fun part as the judges critique the acts – the obvious comments about how bad At Last’s karaoke singing was and how entertaining The Millers were would bore and be edited out – then the fun…

Nina “Bianca – frankly I’m not sure how you got here – Your singing was immature and your voice just didn’t hold up – fortunate for you most of the other acts scored lower than you”

Bianca “Um I tried to be more myself today and show you me”

Heidi “Yah I just wasn’t feeling it either Bianca. Thank you”

Cut to 12 year old Bianca nodding and holding back the tears.

Special guest judge ME “Quick Change your magic act… you said you’ve been performing this bit for 15yrs“

QC – “yes”

SGJ ME “So you admit this act is old – and I’ve seen it done before by other couples – and I’m sure your not the ones that invented this act ..….I can’t believe this is a difficult act to do”

Nina “yes who wants to see the same thing over and over again…and it’s not hard to see what’s going on here…there’s no magic here” as she shifts in her seat with her nose in the air.

QC – “well we’ve perfected it and I think the audience loved it”

Heidi “Thank you Quick Change. - - Tayler…I love your pig tails” all giggle “ I really like your voice but the performance could have been better…I still like your act it was entertaining….for a moment”

TW “Thank you” with a big cute smile.

SGJ ME “I think you got this act down very well but I think you need to break out of the box and do more…You remind me of a little Jewel, you got great potential”

TW “Thank you” with a bigger cuter smile.

Heidi “Rappin' Granny …..can you explain to me what the Granny Dance is”

Granny “oh yah you like that it’s fun goes like this” As she does some lame dance

Nina “Hmm…actually I think it’s boring”

Cut to the surprised look on At Lasts faces – the drama of a favorite getting cut down

SGJ ME “Hey Granny – I’m sorry but your raps don’t hit and your beats are weak – in fact your just a gimmick gone way too long”

Heidi “Ok we’ve heard what you’ve had to say…you can leave the runway as we discuss you scores”

Then the rehashed talk about the drama in the room and funny comments – this is when you try to guess who wins and who gets cut. Then Heidi calls them back in and starts with the winner

Heidi “Bianca you can leave the stage thank you”

Then the camera changes from Taylor and The Millers as the favorites with a glance at Granny just to make you wonder if she might still win….”the winner is….PAUSE…who cares you all are nothing more than half time show acts TW and TM you can leave the stage”

Then the losers and because we love seeing train wrecks this is the best part – but before we end the contestants misery lets twist the knife in them a little first with some recap comments on how lame they are…

Heidi “Quick Change your act is old and tired and simple, At Last your singing was very off and painful to listen to, and Granny your act is nothing but a gimmick.” LONG PAUSE “At Last you can leave the stage” PAUSE as you wonder could Granny be out, it couldn’t be…it has to be the magic act “this will be a first for me” Heidi goes on “I am bringing out all the acts…I am sorry to say but you all……..VERY LONG PAUSE…are…..OUT, Frankly none of you are worth paying to see… Auf Wiedersehen”