is depression a weakness...
is it pussy of me for needing to be heard...
is it lame of my for wanting to be needed...
i thought I was a nice guy but maybe I am a loser...
easily used and walked all over and forgotten...
you know how they say u cant be loved if u dont like ureself..
i kinda hate myself, especially lately...so i guess i am unlovabel...
i wish i smoked...i used to smoke as a way to slowly kill myself...
maybe i took some years off but i didnt finish the job...
i quit smoking cuz i thought someday things would get better...
i wanted to be around when they did...
i didnt want life to come and take everything i love away from me...
i dont want to die...
it would suck to try so many times and never get it right...
its also would be sickly satisfying to be 115yrs old,
alone, miserable, and a complete wast of a life,
laying in my death bed with no hope left,
to say at least i did one thing,
i have completely failed...
anyway, i feel like shit...
i should be happy...
bu i am broken...
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