February is a strange month...a lot of people tend to scale back this month...a final wind down from the holidays and a review of those crazy credit card bills fallowed by how quickly next months rent is due...and then there is Valentines day....
Valentines day started out dreadful for me..as I am sure many of you remember when your a kid in grammar school and the teacher tells everyone to pass out the valentines and its always like a crazy fucked up popularity contest....
Like always I woke up late for school and while trying to stomach down a breakfast i was to nervouse to eat I remember its fucking valentines day and I have to make 30 cards for my class mates...my mom freaks out for me...she screams and yells and demands why I didnt remember sooner...I thank her for being the panic and hysterics in my life cuz now I don't have to she already did enough of it for me...anyway...she rushes me to the grocery store to buy valentines but they are out considering it is valentines day and all..so we go to some hallmark store and find some...I have a list of the students names that the teacher handed out..probably weeks before...and we begin to fill them out...except I am a horrible speller...so I write To: Jeff Frome: Eddie ...than later i think about it and decide to write froom: Eddie ...I remember this shit vividly writing out these things in the car outside my school...late as usual...then I look over at one my mom did and realize I fucked up most of them so I start to scratch out some of the fromes and frooms but it looks so horrid and I'm tryin not to let my mom catch on cuz I don't want her to know I cant spell from...so finally my mom and I finish the cards and she rushes me out with a bunch of misspelled valentines...
sitting in class I was praying the teacher would forget to ask us to pass out the cards...what were people gona say and do...I wasn't very popular as it were and I was considered a freak kid already anyway...but the time comes and i reluctantly pass out my cards...then it happens one of the girls is standing not to far from me and I see her whisper to a friend show her my card and laugh...I try to pretend like nothing happened as I sit alone at my desk trying not to notice i have a smaller stack of valentines...
So I may not be 8 anymore and my life is a little larger than that third grade class...but Im still everything i was in the 3rd grade...i cant spell, I'm always late., and most people consider me a freak...growth is a crazy thing...this valentines day i could have made the same mistakes I always do and run off to try and save some strange woman...instead I hung out with some friends and got wasted...at the end there i was left alone without a goodbye...but I didn't let it end there..I used to let life happen but sometimes you got to make things work out...whateva...
No comments:
Post a Comment