maybe here? I dont really need such a nice place...

Paris Apartment Studio Le Marais rue Sainte Croix de la Bretonnerie

U will never know...

Think of yourself as a piece of chocolate or candy i cant have...anyplace u dont want to be bothered...and there i am....bothering you like a piece of love u
cant have...all over you and rejected....imagine that slice of chocolate turning you away...that is my life...

If only you knew...

Someone has to take a fucking picture of this....so i can better explain how this feeling is ..cuz you will never known....

So much to learn....

Ok so the first thing i did when i got home from work to start my vacation was sleep....then out after that nap...then yesterday i slept in, went out to eat, then back home to sleep....fuck i was tired....so fucking sleep deprived...and today i woke up feeling normal finely....this constant 6 hours of sleep every night sucks....
I think now today starts my vacation....
You know it is funny....there is this guy in the corner that has blue in his dark hair...i used to color my hair a lot...i still think about doing it agiain but since i am balding it thins out my hair and makes me look more bald so i dont...but still i think about it...and this guy is about my age but has a full head of hair and looking at him i think about what kind of girl would find that attractive....when i was younger it was a good thing....but now that i want to atract a woman not a girl...maybe not so much....
But then i was thinking girls always say they want someone smart and funny, but then swoon over the hot dumb guy and laugh at everything he says....soooo

When it comes down to it...i might still color my hair cuz i want to and i think it looks good...besides the woman i want would like it too, or if she doesnt she at least accepts that part of me....because she would swoon over me and laugh at everything i say...

Beauty is all prospective....love blindes...that i know i live...just look at my exes...i am not very attracted to any of them anymore...not to say they are unattractive...they just dont do it for me....some of them i wonder what i was thinking...but it is because i fall in love with who a person is...then i find them beautiful...

I love food...and wine....and pink champagne....and dessert...

So as I think about leaving this city I also think about all the things I havn't done that I keep putting off here, like the list of restaurants I wan to try. The French laundry being number one. then about a dozen others like Benu, Saison and then there is Coi, which I was going to take Anna to, man I wish we went...but not all the restaurants i want to go to are fine dinning, there is also Mission Chinese, which I might go to tonight, it is Saturday but it is also the slow season,so hopefully it wont be too packed...another new place Sons & daughters I have heard good things about and The Boxing Room...oh and boulevard, Flour & Water, Waterbar, and Frances which just opened down the street from my house...Fuck there are a lot of places I want to try...If only I had a partner to go with...I once got into a relationship just so I would have someone to eat sushi with...I am about at that point again...my friends seem to be short on cash all the time...I should probably start on my Paris list of restaurants...I fucking cant wait...

How much can i mention time....

Ahhh....i am cold....46° right now.....at least it isnt windy....anna be happy you missed july it is fucking cold and windy around that time ....enough weather talk....i am so looking forward to my vacation time....only one more day to go....work has settled down finally...only 200 covers today...somtimes i wonder if all the effort i do matters...my labor is down my costs r down my sales are up my cust satisfaction is high, but does any of that get noticed by the owners or does it get lost in the big picture...i could see unless you take the time to isolate the time i am running the show from the time everyone else is you wouldn't notice a difference....and to do that takes effort and time, two things ownership doesnt put in.....

Whateves....truth is i just want to see for myself, how much a difference is it really....i am getting to know the place better and able to do more everyday.....but does it matter...i could do less, but that's just not me...time to get a drink....off early enough to catch last call, if i make it in time...

Time is a bullshit measure made up by some guy....

Did you know there used to be ten months in the calendar....there are more than 24 hours in a real day....time is a totally irrelevant and unreal man made obsession...as all things man made, time is imperfect.....it is so bad that every four years we have to add a day....that meens each year is 6 hours wrong....what if instead of adding a day at the end of every year we have "no time" the clock hits midnight and for six hours it doesnt move....

If you die you die at "no time" or you were born at "no time" 2012....and during this moment people calibrate life and each other, if legal shit happens it is just accepted no time is what it is...and you make it work....

It is a moment to reflect and appreciate those around you...businesses close by law, no one is allowed to work except emergency personnel....the world around you stops....

Time has to exhist....but why is it so meaningful....what makes 2am so special...or 6am...
If you add a minute to every last hour of every day...you would have a year that is only 5 minutes wrong...but then it would be sunset at noon....which if you just take away the meaning of time and use it just as a tool than sunset at noon is just as acceptable as daylight savings...

Part....ummm four i guess...doesnt matter anymore...moving on...

I though there was more to say ol'girl...but as it turns out that's all you get...i gots to get back to work in 6 hours....i need to sleep...toodle-oo.

part three...or some nothing for you...

another new years party done and over with...i kicked its ass, and everyone went home happy...and drunk....

now if i can just get some sleep...got to get back to it in a few hours...